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I remember a quote from Helen Nielsen, an author; “Humility is like underwear, essential, but indecent if it shows.”
Why do some act like their talent is nothing when it is quite remarkable? (While so many empty vessels are out there showing off. But more of that in another post.)
Why do some pretend to be more thrifty although they can and WANT TO spend, just because the economic situation now isn’t too good and others are losing their jobs?
Why do some keep denying their good looks when praised, although they do think that they are beautiful?
Why do some act silly and retarded in front of others when they really are quite smart?
Why? Why? Why?
There could be a lot of other reasons, definitely. But whenever I meet people who fake humility, it just disgusts me more than flashy peeps. At least the latter are a more honest bunch.
According to the website, the test reveals your “CURRENT physical state and psychological needs”.
Freakishly true. Despite it making me seem like some rebellious, arrogant, self-centred bitch. Ha. I do admit that SOMETIMES I might really just be like that.
And yes, I do find it hard to find a friend who truly gives me space to be who I am. There will always be some restrictions here and there. Not that I blame them for not accepting some of my weird habits and interests. I’m already thankful they even want to befriend me.
I am unsure of my future direction because I am a weakling who does not have the courage to just do what I want to do. I’m afraid of not meeting expectations, of having to overcome any problems that I know I will meet and of all the judgement and prejudice I will face. So now, I am going with the flow, doing things I deem unnecessary and dislike.
That ‘favourite expression’ quite aptly describes me. Ha. I accept different views but I don’t follow them just because they’re right as well. Get it? Why can’t there be 2 right’s?
Yes yes. I’m such an egocentric hypocrite. Good to know that my faults are what I long knew of but have refused to change.
Sometimes I wish customers would stop asking me subjective questions like whether an item is too mature/ too young/ too bright/ too dark/ too small/ too big/ too long/ too short/ too light/ too heavy… …. …(You get my point.)
How would I know how they intend to match the said item, where they’re going to wear it to and when and what is their definition of bright, young, small, big… Blah.
For example, they might possibly wear a small but look extra small. So why don’t they just try the item?
And they want something for work, so above knee skirt is out of the question.
Or they could think that leggings is disgusting so they don’t get tunics.
This customer JUST asked if a whimsical, mint green, flowy top might make her look old. And I’m thinking, “YOU make the top look not. NOT the other way round. Cos YOU ARE OLD.”
Fuck. Sometimes I wish Singaporeans might just shop smarter.
And no. I couldn’t bring myself to remind that particular customer of her haggard looks. All I said was, “Depends on how it’s worn and with what.”
Hypocrisy at work.
YES; I do think hair + make up + attitude + accessories make a HUGE difference. A fresh face, hairstyle, necklace, ring or shoes, and behaviour and mannerism can make a difference. So maybe if you’ve worn a really nice dress, you might want to make sure that your tired eyes don’t reveal the late nights, a nicer pair of footwear is worn and you don’t behave like a boy, showing off your grandma panties when you sit at the bus stop. Or VPL at all.
The same way goes, that “mature” top can actually look younger when worn with a radiant face, playful accessories and nice hair.
I wish people can realise that. So they would stop buying the latest “in” item to make themselves look like carbon copies of each and other, and actually wear items that showcases their personality and enhance their look through skincare, makeup and hairstyle.
(sing to the tune of Ayo Technology by 50 Cent, featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland)
I need to get this off my chest. I CAN NOT stand not blogging about it anymore. Come to think of it, I was more honest in the past actually. More on that some other time.
For now. I need to talk about THIS.
See. I’ve been working with the same project group for the past 2 semesters, the current one and hopefully not for the next semester. Actually all my anger and problems boil down to this ONE person in my group.
She is just not doing her work. To make this entry shorter, I’m just going to make a list of the things she does and not do. If not, it’ll just be neverending. YES. That is how bad it is.
- Her work is fucking unacceptable. If I were to use her work in the project, we would probably fail.
- Yet. She passes her personal assignments. What the fuck am I suppose to make out of these 2 points?!
- That possibly she just does not put any effort into group projects because she will pass it anyway since my friend and I would still do our best. And telling the lecturers won’t help much because “they will be treating us like adults”. I can’t help rolling my eyes at this sentence because I think it’s an excuse for lecturers to slack since I have met utterly lazy and childish adults before.
- She doesn’t meet the deadlines we set even though her work is crap and will always need to be sent back to her for amendments.
- I think it’s impossible for her not to know her work is worthless because if she does go through the final result, she should be able to see that almost 97% of the work is done by my friend and I. That is if she even makes the effort to go through the final project.
- If she doesn’t go through the final project = she is just plain lazy and is taking advantage of my friend and I.
- If she does go through it = she is still shamelessly taking advantage of us since…
- For the past 2 semesters and this current one, she is STILL LIKE THAT.
- Regarding late work, she tells us things like she’s “tying up some loose ends,” and “got a lot of information,”, which makes us really pissed when we receive her lousy late work.
- “I don’t know,” is just a fucking excuse to not do work. I don’t know some stuff too but I happen to do some RESEARCH, so why can’t she do the same?
- My friend and I have learnt to tell her SPECIFICALLY what to find out on, what to do and how to do it. So it is like we have to do extra work finding out her parts to let her know what to do. And she still gives us shit.
- She gets distracted very easily and is like that during meetings. And may I add that she does not contribute whatsoever during meetings. So right from the start, from brainstorming to conceptualization of ideas to actual execution, she is like some invisible member.
- I don’t think us not INVITING her to speak up and making her feel LEFT OUT is a reason really because it all boils down to initiative.
- She has time to shop online and everywhere else and go work part time, while my friend and I slog it out. And I WORK because technically I can cope if I am not doing her work for her.
- For all the above, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING EXCUSES AND UNNECESSARY APOLOGIES.
I don’t want to be a whiner. Complaining on and on about her to my friends. But she is really getting on my nerves and I need to vent it out to retain my mental health. I apologise to all who got their ears burnt out listening to my grouses about her.
This has to end. I don’t want to be that sort of ‘Nice‘ person, being unhappily taken advantage of. It’s like I’m paying my school fees to do 2 person’s work or she is paying school fees to get an easy degree, whichever way you want to see this situation. I am tired and I think it’s fucking unfair. My friend and I decided to talk to her at the next meeting. If there is no improvement after that… Good luck to her in finding a new group next semester.
Ok. That’s it. My life is supposed to be NICE AND DANDY. It’s not worth it getting all worked up over someone unimportant.
I had a nice dinner with some friends at Ayam Penyet today and there was good gossip!
XOXO
I forgot to add that I watched “Break Out!” on St. Valentine’s Day afternoon and boy was it good!!! Fantastically funny, fast-paced and frisky.
Wits, humour and dance nicely combined. Loved it.
Pity I didn’t watch “Jump!” though.
Stuffed myself at Newton Circus for dinner that night. Farewell dinner for a friend who is currently in Beijing and will be for 6 months or longer. I hope longer, so I can visit her during winter and bunk in at her place!
Nice that she’s studying and enjoying herself in a new setting. I find that very invigorating. It’s like you’re learning more than what you get through the educational curriculum.
I’m missing my days in Hainan Island and travelling.
Hopefully, things go as planned!
Please get better, economy!
There’s chocolate in my fridge, y’all!!!
I’m loving Paulo Coelho’s By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept so much that I’m reading it a second time.
Back to back.
It has certainly aided me in finding hope and faith in God, miracles and life.
I don’t belong to any single religion. Funnily enough, I went to a Seventh Day Adventist nursery, a Catholic secondary school and my family practices Buddhism. Quite a mix.
I was jaded somewhat by all that is preached to me (regardless of the religions) and the rituals and rites that you HAVE to follow to be considered a believer. All I thought was, “If I do no harm to others, if I just make peace, if I just love myself and others, am I not a believer of God? Is God going to forsake me just because I smoke, drink and eat meat?”
Some religions require that females are not allowed to pray when they’re having their menses. If it is true that God created humans and so He must be the one who made it such that females all have that time of the month, why is it “dirty” then?
Some religions talk about peace and forgiveness but their history and scriptures are tainted by war and revenge and killings.
Some religions require you to forsake your friends and family if they do not abide by the rules.
I don’t get all these.
For a period of time, I totally didn’t believe in any God at all. Too many up there. Too many rules. Too many different stories. But on Earth, so much war, so much unhappiness, so much unequality.
There wasn’t a single event that re-kindled my faith actually. It was more of a progression through life. And my thinking has changed quite a bit over the years. I began to see that all the Gods were actually preaching the same thing. Not to do bad, to love, to forgive and basically to just live up to your conscience. And just maybe, the Gods of all the different religions were just different personas to reach out to the masses.
That was when I just believed in God and stopped following organized religion. I prayed whenever I want to, I thanked God whenever I want to and I just live as I do. In the end, I shall leave the judgement to God. The religious leaders and the people around me can judge my sins for all I care, but I know that ultimately, I live my life the way I want and the ending is be decided by God. Judgements may hurt, but unless spun into actions, those are just words.
With this new belief, somehow life seems easier. Not that mine was very difficult in the past. But accepting, changing and living all seems exciting and fun now. A new love and perspective for life.
Here’s my life summed up by a phrase from the book, I’m “seeking to live“.
Be very careful. Big sister is watching you.
Dad gives sis articles on industries looking for workers.
Sis thinks dad is stressing her.
Sis complains to me.
I tell her I don’t think she’s looking hard enough (because she’s at home most of the time doing stuff for her Guides and clubbing even though she claims she has no money.)
Sis thinks I don’t understand (or rather nobody understands her and I can’t help rolling my eyes at that.)
I think she doesn’t understand that she is giving additional pressure to my parents to sustain her spending habits on top of keeping their jobs in such trying times.
Sis left the house in angst.
Why why why? Why do I have such a brat for my sis? I do have to say she can be very nice when she’s feeling happy but I really don’t like having to give in to her all the time. Her mood swings are worse than the weather and she spends like anything despite only having 1 part time job as a retail assistant.
And she thinks she’s always right.
