1 month and 6 days

That was how long I did not blog.

I have to apologise for my erratic blogging but really between travel and blogging, which would you choose? If I could choose to give up handing in my assignments just so I could blog, I would gladly do so, but I don’t think “blogging” is too feasible an excuse.

I am always filled to the brim with some thoughts or emotions. I don’t categorise them as good or bad or even anything at all. Feeling something and thinking about something is always better than nothing. Because of that, I always have something to blog about but I choose to not constantly blog about how I feel because I don’t want to be a slave to this. I want my feelings to be kept raw and untainted. By blogging, you subject your inner most thoughts and emotions to discussions and scrutiny by friends and strangers. Not that there is anything wrong but I just don’t feel comfortable sharing such intimate thoughts with others just to have them use it against me.

As much as possible, I like to keep here as positive and neutral as possible. I prefer to sculpt my blog into some sort of timeline, documenting where I’ve been, what I’ve learnt and the changes I’ve experienced. These things you cannot contest. I want my blog to be such that when I read it in future, I will be able to recollect that “me” at that certain point in time and the relating memories. I don’t want this blog to be an open book detailing every thought and emotion of mine. Harmlessness, honesty and neutrality are the key features I want this blog to adhere to then.

I have learnt a lot recently. Whether it is about friendship, life or just about myself. And I have enjoyed myself tremendously. Travelling is always a good relaxant but if you can’t travel, surrounding yourself with drinks and close friends is good too. This year has been pretty fruitful till now and it will only get better! I will share pics from my recent trips soon, once I get them all!

As for future plans, I have some. I think I just need more spirit and nerve as a catalyst to push for my plans to actually happen. Meanwhile, let’s concentrate on here and now! Have a good weekend everyone!

Motivation

For me; during times of sleepless nights and endless work is….

(source)

For now, the question is: “Next up, when and where?!”

Oh my!

Found out lots today! Seems like I’ve missed out quite some bit of my friends’ lives and I’m sorry I was too busy finding excuses to be part of it.

Aye…. Time to stop saying I’m busy and actually get down to being pro-active. Actively caring for my friends.

Really! What sort of human places more priority on something as boring and inanimate as their schoolwork over actual living human beings who care for them and make them happy?!??!?!

Me, apparently. Along with many others.

Sheesh. Seems like I’m behaving in a way I would abhor others to behave. It’s time for change!

And better time management. I always need to remind myself of that.

Lucky me!

I know I know… You guys want to see the photos I took in China and Tokyo.

Problem is; I haven’t gotten the full set of pictures taken in China so I refuse to blog about it. Then if I don’t blog about China, I can’t blog about Tokyo cos it happened after. And! I’m never really much a photographer, uploader nor Facebook-er.

I should be getting the last set of pictures of China soon so hopefully I will blog about my trips before June!

Anyway, I came back to Singapore with a cleaner and simpler perspective towards life. Nothing spectacular or life-changing happened, it’s just the effect travel has on me. I cannot put into words my thoughts about life and living, just that it is not as difficult nor complex as what I always thought it to be. I also cannot explain how the gradual change was brought about, but I just know that it’s a good change. For me, at least.

I really like how after most trips, I get this new insights into lots of stuff. Maybe that is why I like travelling so much?

Anyways, my lecturer was talking about luck today. On how everyone should try to find out how lucky they are, how to spot a good geomancer, and learning about Chinese astrology. The gist of it was that we should try to find out how lucky we are so as to manage our expectations, which affects our accomplishments, abilities and emotions.

I believe in luck. That some people are born luckier than others due to some unexplainable stars and forces. But I’m not so staunch a believer as to depend on it for everything in my life. And I believe that luck can be changed. Whether through  a person’s efforts or external factors. But ultimately, I think luck depends on a person’s outlook towards life, no? Like how more optimistic people seem luckier, but that is because they take things lighter and minimize the negative impact of bad events, thus making themselves belief they’re lucky.

Like how people who always find that silver lining in clouds will tend to feel luckier than those who only see lightning rain.

I’ld like to think that I’m lucky. For all that I’ve got. I think my feeling lucky makes me happy which then generates more luck. Such blind optimism, I hear people say. But that is why I’m lucky most times! And maybe because the geomancer my parents got to name me, is pretty skilful?

I really wouldn’t know.

Off again soon!

So I’m back from Beijing and Guilin. Pretty hot there although the wind was a saviour to our sweaty armpits!

Just a summary of my trip there:

• Oily and salty food
• Push push push!
• THRONGS of people!
• Breakfast by a beautiful river
• Realisation that I desperately need to practise cycling
• Padi fields and mountains
• Enough stairs for me now
• Aching muscles!

Am waiting to board the A380 bound for Tokyo! Pretty excited about it though a 6hour wait ensues after that for Sam. But well… For A380, I’m willing!

Cheers! Wish my luck for my exam results and a smooth trip without any quarantine when I come back.

P/s: Watsons’s masks are out of stock!

Beijing welcomes you!

“Hi!” from Beijing! Am in Celes’ place now. Had SUPERB fun the past few days. 

Look forward to the pictures that I will upload once I get my hands on them!

Transformers

Originally thought it was a Chinese Lion Dance Troupe’s Lion getup standing atop some rock.

Then as I got closer, it started looking more like 2 big bears playing or fighting or play-fighting.

The last I saw of it, I thought they looked like a terrier prancing around an old man.

Funny things, clouds are. They really test my imagination.

Sometimes it just takes time for details to get clearer and for the big picture to present itself.

Great news!

The melancholy has been replaced by great joy and grand celebrations because I…

AM GOING FOR A VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those who don’t know, I’m going to Beijing from 28th April – 5th May and Tokyo from 6th May – 11th May.

A really good trip to pamper myself after working with that demoness from hell for almost 3 semesters.

So look forward to many beautiful pictures upon my return and if anything urgent should crop up (though I hope not!), text me with a +65 in front of my mobile number.

Off to see the wondrous world soon!

For sale

Am selling a CATS ticket valid for the 8.00pm show on 1st May 2009 at the Esplanade Theatre. Seat 7, Row P. Bought for 153SGD. Of course I’m selling it for a lower price. Drop me a comment with your email for more details!

I would really like to go for this show. But unfortunately, due to some circumstances arising from my own stupidity, I have to give this a miss. WHAT A FUCKING WASTE! I might just slap myself.

P/s: My apologies, twin!

Something melancholic

I don’t like to sleep late because I tend to think a lot at night.

But I cannot enter slumberland because I cannot stop thinking.

I don’t like having dreams because I don’t like to. I find it disrupting and compromising on the quality of my sleep.

I’m feeling a little left out and unappreciated at the moment.

I feel like that some times. Actually quite a lot of times.

I always end up telling myself that it’s all right. People just forget to care. They’re always busy.

Then I start to think about how busy people can get.

Then I start to think about my flaws and whether my friends get turned off by them.

Then I start getting worried about whether my friends feel burdened by our friendship. As in, am I someone they detest but are just friends with because they cannot shake me off?

Then I start feeling a little disappointed because I assume that I care about them most of the time. Giving the credit they deserve. Showing my appreciation. So why don’t they do that too?

Then I start wondering if I’m too annoying to them? Because all I want to do is to cheer people up. But ends up that I’m the one who might be irritating them too much.

Then I start wishing my friends and family will not put me down so much sometimes. Yes I might be self-deprecating at times, but too much sarcasm/friendly insults can be hurting too.

Now I’m thinking if I’m being too sensitive or too calculating? Wanting people to treat me as I treated them? That if I’m caring, then that they care for me too? But things don’t always work that way.

I should know better. Really. Now I feel kinda mad at myself for letting such small stuff get to me.

No time for silliness anymore. It’s time for bed.

And btw, I’m not depressed. Just a deep thinker.